So many questions...

My poor little head is spinning. The rewrites on Instinct aren't confusing me, I pretty much know what needs to be done there... it's a new change I'm considering that has me unsure of what to do next.

First a little backstory (yay! the dreaded info dump!). I submitted part of my story to an online critique group anonymously and some of the comments have me thinking. There were a lot of stupid mistakes on my part that I'm not sure how I missed, but some of the other comments were deeper than just SPaG (Spelling, Punctuation, & Grammar) errors.

The first issue that got me thinking, people seemed to agree that my voice is very YA. That's pretty cool as most of my story ideas are definitely YA, except Instinct. To be honest, I'm not sure how to classify this story. Right now my main character, Casey, is 21 and attending the police academy. I know that due to her age, this would be a tough sale as a YA, even though I think that the story itself could go either way, YA or adult.

On the same note as the last comment, I've had several people ask if I couldn't just change Casey's age to maybe 18. Before, I would always say, "No, it wouldn't work with the story or the series..." but now, I'm not so sure. I originally chose Casey's age based off of the requirements for the real Boston Police Academy, minimum age of 21 and have lived in Boston for 1 year (I wanted the story to be as believable as possible).

But, I am writing fiction, aren't I? Would it be horrible if the academy in my story had a minimum age requirement of say... 18? I'm taking liberties on the timing and content of her classes and training, why shouldn't I fudge the admissions requirements while I'm at it? I'm taking liberties with the entire city of Boston since I've never actually been there. I don't want to pull people out of the story who have been a part of the police academy, but I need to do what's best for my story at the same time, you know?... [Head Spinning Moment]

The more I thought about changing her age, the more the story seemed to make sense. I had found a couple of plot holes and other problems and this change would fix most of them.

• Why would her father, all of a sudden, insist that she have a roommate if she's been living in Boston for 3 years? She couldn't have been living with Heather the whole time or their dynamics wouldn't be believable. Her having a different roommate before doesn't make much sense either though, it's very obvious that Heather is her first roommate.
• What actually released her gift? If her turning 18 triggered it, that would make sense.
• Why is she so anti-social to begin with and why, in her three years living in Boston, did she never try to change this on her own? Being 18 and fresh out of high school would work with her backstory as to why she's not over her past enough to make the changes on her own.
• Why is she so emotional and having other specific problems? Still a teenager, yet expected to act like an adult... that would definitely be believable.
• And a few others...

I always wanted Instinct to be YA, but didn't know how well it would work given what I knew about the story in the past. Now that the first draft is done and I know the entire story, I think that it would really work.

Well, I'd have to alter one of her love interests too... maybe make him a Ph.D. student instead of a young associate/assistant professor (can't remember which is the correct term off the top of my head, but it's in my notes). That would work well too, make him a TA... would explain why he doesn't really have his own office...

But anywho... If I can get past the whole, "I want my story to be as accurate as possible, except for the paranormal aspects" (which, you never know, they could be true...) then, I think it would really work well. I'm doing rewrites now anyway, so this would be the best time to implement these changes...

But my questions for you, my dear readers.

• Would an age change in this case be believable? Would you believe a story where an 18 year old was a police cadet?
• Is 18 still too old for a YA story? I can think of several YA books that had characters with similar ages, but they were still in high school and Casey has graduated.

Well, I'm off to write up notes on these potential changes and maybe skim through the chapters and see if there's any major issues with her being 18 that I'm forgetting.

So, until I blog again...
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

It's Back!

My writing mojo that is.

Image by kattebelletje via Flickr

I've been in such a funk lately, not sure why I haven't been inspired to write up my last few chapters on Instinct to finish the first draft... now I know why. The chapters I have left suck! I can see why I outlined them in the beginning, but over half of them aren't going to make the final cut in this story. Sure, the scenes actually happened to Casey, but the reader doesn't need to be bored with all of those details when they don't really further the plot.

I made a decision this morning. My first draft is DONE!

Sure, I have a couple of chapters that aren't "complete", but I have them fully outlined and the parts that aren't complete will most likely be changed anyway. I'm starting on my second draft and feel that unexplainable energy that I felt writing the story before. I started seeing the characters in my head again and envisioning scenes that need reworked. It's an amazing feeling let me tell you!

I'm going to re-read a section of chapters that are done today to get ready to work in the mythology information. In my head I can see how to make this work where it isn't an info dump now! Woot!

As for my other to-do list:

1. Layer in some scenes for a major character that kind of got pushed to the background in his scenes: I have so many ideas for how to do this now. This is going to be so much fun!

2. Add in some extra paranormal aspects to Casey's gift and their ramifications to the plot: Love, love, love this idea now! The best part is that I get to add in these same abilities on a couple other characters. And this helps explain what happens to one character at the end perfectly.

3. Rewrite 2-3 scenes from another character's POV: I know at least two chapters that I want for this, but need to see if the chapter after that can be reworked from his POV as well. It's a tricky situation because I need to let the reader get to know this character without giving too much away that would ruin the twist at the end.

4. Figure out what I'm going to do with my "boring" scenes: Well, this one is fairly easy. Most of them are going to be cut or completely re-outlined to the point where I might as well cut them and start from scratch.

I was really starting to wonder if I'm meant to be a writer or not. It's a bit disconcerting to have your writing mojo fizzle like mine did on this story. Now I realize that I was trying to force myself to finish my boring chapters instead of following my own "instincts" that said to start the rewrites. I am so happy to be back to this frame of mind and see things being written fairly quickly in the coming month.

You wanna know how giddy this change in attitude has me? Well, it's no secret that I am NOT a morning person, but I woke up early this morning (well, early for me... especially on a day that my husband is watching the toddler). But anywho, I woke up and realized what I needed to do and everything came together so wonderfully in my head. My favorite scenes started playing themselves in my head as I re-acquainted myself with the characters that have been so silent for the past weeks and months. I grabbed my bedside notebook and started scribbling down notes and ideas. The excitement is so intense that I'm not sure how I'll get through reading over a couple of chapters before I dig in and start writing.

I haven't drank alcohol in about three years because of the whole pregnancy and nursing thing, but I think I'm buzzing on this writing mojo feeling! Woo, riding the writing high!

For anyone else who feels like they've lost their writing mojo, I have some advice: re-evaluate what you are trying to do with the story. Are you trying to make yourself go against your instincts? Toss out your preconceived notions on how a writing process is supposed to go and just do things your own way. When you really think about it, every known writing process started off as someone's instinct that ended up working so wonderfully that people emulated it. Maybe someday people will be following your process!

But, I need to get to work organizing my notes and reading a few chapters that need rewrites.

So, until I blog again...
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

Just Checking In...

This has been the longest week ever!

I have very little to report on the writing front unfortunately. For the past week I have been taking care of a very sick little two year old boy, my poor little guy. We're not sure where he picked it up, but he has been suffering with a really bad stomach virus for a week now. The doctor says that he'll be fine and he is getting better, but it's heartbreaking to see him so sick.

Every time I sat down to write, he would come and lay his head on my lap and just want to hold my hand. Luckily, I never got puked on like my husband... but it's not easy to concentrate and type one-handed when you are seeing your only child so sick. I think I managed a few hundred words and random edits this past week, which isn't bad considering everything else going on.

I'm debating on whether or not to start my rewrites before I finish my last few short chapters though. I am so excited to go back in and add in all of the new special scenes for Casey and crew that it's hard to focus on what else needs to be written. In my defense though, a lot of what I "need" to write will probably be changed once I make all of my rewrites, so I could just write those scenes fresh after I lay the groundwork for my new ideas.

Maybe I'm just suffering S.O.S. (Shiny Object Syndrome). Forget the old stuff that needs to be written, I have this new shiny object that I want to play with. It's... so... shiny...

Then again, maybe I need to rethink these last few chapters and their purpose. If I'm not as excited about writing them as I was with all of the others, maybe that's a sign that they need some work. If they bore me to write, they'd certainly bore a reader.

A couple of these chapters, I fear, are going to become info dumps the way I have them outlined. A good portion of Casey's gift has to do with Greek mythology, so I have a couple scenes that are supposed to give out some basic information on the deities that have been "possessing" her. (Man, I hate the word possessing for this, but it's the closest thing that I can think of to describe it...) Now, I don't want to make these chapters just mythology lessons, but I need a way to sneak in little bits of this information in a way that furthers the plot.

Another chapter that I need to write doesn't necessarily need any work done to it's outline, I just need to decide if I want to include a really goofy scene in the middle of it. In my mind I can see it, but it can come across really cheesy and that's not what the story is about. This goofy scene doesn't really do anything for the plot, but does show a side of a few characters that flesh them out a bit.

I have yet another chapter that is written, written badly - but written, that needs a lot of work. This is one of my favorite scenes in my head and is pretty important in showing Casey's struggles (as well as being freakin' hilarious), but it has a big problem. Copyright issues. In the scene, a radio is playing and what is played and said over the stations is very important to make the scene work. Unfortunately after writing up this scene, I found out that you cannot use song lyrics in a novel without paying for permission. I don't know why this didn't occur to me before, maybe because I was only using maybe one line out of each song, but whatever reason it was, now I have to do a major rewrite or be willing to cut a chapter that I love. Right now it's on the chopping block and will just have to be a funny scene in my head... who knows what will happen in the second draft though?

Then there are a few really emotional scenes that are really important to the plot, one of which really hits close to home. These scenes just require me to have more than a couple minutes here and there to work. Every other scene can be written in little bits here and there, but these require a fluidity that can't be achieved that way, at least not by me... yet. I am still new to all of this you know. Once we finish the bathroom remodel (the task that is taking up my husband's free time, time that used to be spent watching the toddler so I could write), I'll take a couple days to write these out. They will be fun to write because of the range of intense emotions that Casey experiences. Getting inside her head for these scenes will be a great writing experience for me.

As for rewrites, I have to:
- layer in some scenes for a major character that kind of got pushed to the background in his scenes (oops!),
- add in some extra paranormal aspects to Casey's gift and their ramifications to the plot,
- rewrite 2-3 scenes from another character's POV (This will be great and add to the mystery around a couple of the characters),
- figure out what I'm going to do with my "boring" scenes

Once that stuff is done, I'll just need to polish everything up and it will be done. Then the scary part starts... querying!

Well, what do you know? I guess I did have a bit to report on my writing after all :)

Until I blog again...
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

YA -vs- Adult... I wanna write both!

Image via Wikipedia

I'm drowning in ideas for YA novels... Every week it seems like I'm outlining another fun book or series with a YA vibe to it. The cool thing about this is that each new idea seems better developed than the last. The bad thing is that all the time I'm spending writing up these synopses is time away from my nearly completed first draft of Instinct. But, if I don't write up these stories now, they'll be lost forever because of my bad memory. *groan*

Technically, I guess this isn't a horrible time for me to be taking a break from the writing aspect of Instinct though. You see I've recently decided to make a few little tweaks to the plot and a couple of main characters. These tweaks will affect a good portion of the book, but will make it a lot better. It will involve rewriting some scenes and layering in a lot of new information in other places, but it will be worth it in the end. One night I just had this moment of inspiration that set off a whole row of dominoes in my head until I knew what I had to do. I'm so excited to think about how these little changes will add a new sense of drama to the characters' lives as well as fill in a few plot holes.

So, why isn't this a bad time to outline other stories if I have so much new work to do? Simple. I have to let all of this new information "cook" in my subconscious for a few days so I can add it in as seamlessly as possible. I have a separate document typed up and handwritten pages of notes that will help, but... I don't know... it feels like when I first started outlining Instinct. I needed time to let my subconscious work out the kinks and once that was done, I started writing like a maniac. Taking the time to let everything settle in my head for a few days seems to be part of my process when I make big changes. (And these are big changes, but will be so much fun to write!)

This Just In: And just like that, while editing this blog post one of the new scene ideas *dinged* in my head and started playing. I typed up the outline and know exactly where to put it. I expect moments like this to happen off and on over the next week or so until everything is "fixed" in my head. But now, back to the somewhat regularly-scheduled blog post...

There is one thing that I am nervous about with all of my new book ideas though. If I'm successful and am able to get Instinct and the subsequent novels in the series published, how hard would it be to write YA novels after that? Instinct is one of those books that would be hard to classify. My MC is 21 so technically the story is at the extreme high end of what is typically considered YA, but I can easily see a teenager enjoying the book. I wish that I could believably change her age to 18, but that wouldn't work on many levels so I'm pretty sure it would end up classified a sweet, paranormal romance should it get published. Would it pigeonhole me into just writing romances if I were to find success with this story?

The stories that I want to write next are all YA and I've really enjoy creating these characters and their worlds. There's something about writing dialogue for a teenager that is so much fun. Maybe I can relate to teenagers because I love reading YA books and listening to the teen and tween music groups. It's not that I don't have ideas for new romance novels or that I have a problem with the genre (I love it!), but I just feel that the YA stories are better ideas and would be more enjoyable to write.

I hate to even think this way because I believe in Instinct so much, but what if it's meant to be my practice novel? The one I write first, but for whatever reason never gets published. What if all of these YA inspirations that I've been bombarded with lately are the universe's way of telling me what I'm supposed to be writing? Maybe I'm just scared to finish Instinct and my mind is looking for any excuse to keep me from working on it... *sigh* Then again, maybe I'm just over thinking things AGAIN...

I have no intention of quitting my journey to finish and publish Instinct. I love Casey and can't imagine not finishing her story and trying to share it with the world. So fear not, Casey Parker will not disappear! I just need to work on my ability to focus and try to regain control of my muse... Hah! Like I've ever had any control over him, but I can dream right?

If I can successfully make my tweaks to Instinct, then I think I would have a decent shot of publishing it somewhere. Anyone I've told the premise to says that they haven't seen a paranormal romance with my particular paranormal element before and that it sounds awesome. Agents and editors want new ideas right? But, what if finding success with Instinct makes it where I can't tell the stories of Brooke, Lisa, Megan, or...? Arrrggghhh... I need chocolate...

The current plan is to finish Instinct and then start writing whichever one of these YA stories inspires me the most at the time while on submission. If Instinct should happen to sell while I'm working on my new project, great! If not, I'll start submitting the complete YA story as well and let the universe decide which should be published. And, if both sell... I'll wake up and blog, "I just had the best dream..."

But anyway, until I blog again,
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!... *DING*

An glimpse into the mind of a writer working through a plot problem...

Have you ever had one of "those" days with your writing? I've spent a bit of today working on the motivations for one of my characters... Who would've thought that this simple task would lead to a major duh moment on my part?

I started my task by re-reading the scenes that this character is in so I could get a feel for his voice again, not that I could ever really forget it... he is one of my favorite characters after all. The more I read, the more in love with my new scene ideas I've become. I'm going to add in additional little mini scenes with this character to help build his character up with the reader. It will really add to the story in ways that I honestly didn't think of when I first outlined Instinct. I never realized how little this character was in my original draft when he plays such a major role in the story. I guess I took for granted that the reader would sympathize for him, without really knowing him. These new mini-scenes will help show more of his personality and add some drama for Casey to deal with. Drama + Casey = Fun!

So what's the problem then? Arrrgghh! Well, while re-reading the text, I noticed a specific point where my character gets upset over something he walks in on (and rightfully so, given his perspective of the situation). The problem... his reason for being upset is horribly, horribly wrong. Unless I can recreate the way the weekdays fall believably in my story (not likely...), his motivation just isn't going to work here. Here's a breakdown of my lapse in mental processing:

1. Character asks girl out for the weekend and she tells him that she's going home to visit family.
2. He's sad, but accepts it, he did wait until the last minute to ask her (It was Thursday afternoon).
3. The next Friday (not the next day, the next week) he sees her out with another man.

The problem? His reason for being hurt and mad is that she lied to him... basically in my head the days of that particular week went something like this: Thursday (ask out) > Friday/Saturday (she's with family) > Sunday (she meets other guy) > Friday (he sees her on a date with new guy). There are no other days between Sunday and Friday. It just doesn't make sense for him to be upset for the reasons I thought he was here.

So, now I have to find a better motivation for him to be upset about when he sees them out together. Maybe I can have him ask her out again for Friday sometime during that week and she tell him that she can't. Him asking her out for that night would work with their backstory, but she wouldn't not tell him why she couldn't and she wouldn't lie to him either, I think... I guess I could work that into the story, her lying about her real plans... Then he catches her in the lie and... well, the rest of the scene happens!

... \
... Brain processing this new info...
... /

*DING* (That's the sound of the buzzer in my head going off, saying this new idea is ready!)

OMG, I think I've got it! Yes, him asking her out again is DEFINITELY the way to go!

Thanks for listening to me working through this problem. For some reason working it out in my head wasn't cutting it, but blogging about it did the trick! I haven't figured out all of the specifics for this change, but I'm liking where they're headed. Fixing his motivation in this one scenario has even caused a domino effect to go off in my head and now I know his motivation (as well as a few other characters' motivations) in later scenes.

Well, I need to start sketching out these new scenes and motivations so I can add them in as notes in my main story file. This makes so much sense now! Maybe I was misinterpreting the scenes all along... it wouldn't be the first time... But anyway, Instinct calls!

So, until I blog again...
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

Sighing, Willow bangs her head against the wall...

Casey isn't speaking to me... Of course Casey would be the heroine from my current WIP, Instinct, not some random friend I've offended in some way. I'm pretty sure I haven't offended anyone in real life lately...

As you will remember from my last post, it was my last one right?... anywho... I had begun outlining a fun story about a pop/rock singer named Lisa. Not that I want to spend all of my free time working on yet another fun story that I'd like to write, I simply had no choice. I'm sure I'm not the only writer who's been hi-jacked mid-story, well I hope I'm not the only one, that would be weird and kind of lonely...

Well, Lisa has a very strong personality and wasn't about to let me ignore her. I would begin visualizing a scene from Instinct and she'd just walk right in and plop herself down on the couch, turning on the TV and saying something like, "Oh don't mind me, I just have a few things to settle with her," while pointing skyward, towards me. So, yeah... my cast of characters in Instinct got a bit fed up with this so I decided to take a few days and write up a synopsis of Lisa's tale to add to the TBW (To Be Written) pile.

So here I am, quiet house, husband at work, toddler napping... and what am I doing? Blogging. Oh, I tried to work on Instinct- I really did-, but as I mentioned before, Casey's mad at me. As she's the main character and everything is from her POV, this puts me in an awkward position. I understand that she's upset that I took a few days to write up some stuff for Lisa, I really do. Why can't she see that I did this for her. Now Lisa is happily sitting in her own file knowing full well that her story is spinning around in my subconscious, brewing up all sorts of misadventures for her to have. Now I'm free to work on Instinct without any more interruptions from a certain pop/rock princess.

I guess I didn't make things any better between Casey and myself when I pointed out that she is acting just like Heather towards the end of the book. Yeah, that didn't go over well... how could I forget the temper she has? I really should've remembered that, after all she can channel the instincts of Ares to help fuel her anger. I was quickly reminded of this fact once I uttered the stupid words, "You are so being Heather right now..." with a roll of my eyes. The way her eyes flashed bright red as her hands balled into tight fists at her sides before she turned and stormed out of the room... yeah big ol' reminder there. I'm just lucky that the Casey from the end of the book was the one I was talking to, at least she has some semblance of control over her gift. I shudder to think about what could've happened if I had encountered a Casey from an earlier chapter. But seriously, where were the gray eyes of Minerva with all of her wisdom when I needed them, huh?

But anyway... Last night I was able to write the beginning of a chapter that was otherwise done. Yeah, I'm horrible about skipping the beginnings of chapters. I know what I want to happen, just not the best way to start things off to hook the reader. So I use my "blue text" technique and write down a quick summary of what I need to include in the beginning and make it blue and italicized so I can tell what isn't done just by glancing at the page. So far this has worked really well for me.

I'm not really happy with what I wrote though. I think Casey was silently fuming while we were working things out and not cooperating very well. Something with the voice of the scene just sounds too... harsh? compared to everything else I've written. I hope that I'm not losing Casey's voice because of all of these other characters that are swimming around in my head. That would suck because I love Casey and her story. I'm just going to hope that I'm able to smooth out that section of the story in the second draft.

So what am I doing right now to try and locate Casey's voice amongst the ever-expanding crowd of characters in my head? I've tried listening to Edwin McCain singing I'll Be on my iTunes and looking at pictures of the celebrity cast of Instinct that my friend M and I compiled a while back. I'm really hoping that this helps pull me back into Casey's world. I'll Be is sort of the love theme for Casey and one of the men vying for her heart. If this doesn't work I'll have to loop the book's playlist all day while re-reading the entire manuscript, all 236 single-spaced pages of it. Not that I don't enjoy reading the book, I really do, I just wish I could be writing it today.

Maybe the secondary love theme, Why Don't You Kiss Her? by Jesse McCartney will help too... the scene it goes with is one of my favorites so far. Maybe Mina's themes, Do You Believe in Magic? or I'm Walking on Sunshine would do the trick... Man, I need another mad Casey scene to write... all I can hear is her angry voice right now.

Anyone else have characters revolt on them before? Any way to make them cooperate without threatening them? I'd try the whole, "Behave or I'll delete you," but she'd just laugh at me, knowing I couldn't do it. I'm actually tempted to say, "Fine. I'm sure Lisa would be happy to have her story worked on today..." but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't help my case any either. What do you think?

Well, I'm off to have an argument with the voices in my head... man that doesn't sound good...

So, until I blog again...
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

Short Story DONE! and other news...

Here I am again! I've had a pretty good writing week, in my opinion at least.

First, I finished my short story for The Pen & Muse Romance Short Story Contest. As in, it's done! Written, edited, proofread... D.O.N.E. done! I was very fortunate to happen across a post on The Writer's Beat forum where someone volunteered to do free proofreading so that they could build their resume. As I had read and re-read my story so many times that I knew I was most likely missing a lot of little errors, I jumped on this opportunity. I'm so glad that I did!

I send my ~3300 word story off to Aspen and had it back the next day, well before the 72 hour wait period that I had been expecting. As expected, I had several little errors... comma/semi-colon issues and a couple of instances where I had used the same word multiple times in a paragraph, etc. I'm proud to say that I've learned where some of my punctuation weaknesses are and am working on improving them. I agreed with every suggestion that was offered, even though I was fully prepared to ignore anything that didn't feel right to me; it is my story after all. But that never happened, every suggestion was spot on.

Overall, I would say that this was an awesome experience for me and I would definitely recommend Aspen's services to anyone in need of a proofreader. I'm not sure how long the free proofreading services will continue, but I would definitely encourage anyone to email and inquire about it. It's a win-win situation, they get experience to put on their resume and you get a cleaner piece of writing along with an opportunity to learn your strengths and weaknesses. You can't get any better than that now, can you?

This shot story contest ends on February 19th and I'll definitely keep you updated on how my story fares. People who have read the story seem to like it and I love the characters, so I guess only time will tell. I'm doing my final read-through on it today and sending it off. I know... I should have sent it off yesterday like I originally planned to, but I guess I'm paranoid. I wasn't able to do my final read-through last night because my writing gremlin hi-jacked and forced me to outline something else (more info on that farther down in this blog). So, once I'm finished posting this blog, I'll be reading over the story one last time and emailing it off. Wish me luck!

Let's see... what else has happened?

Oh yeah! Speaking of my short story, titled On Occasion..., after hearing from two important people in my life who have read it, I wrote up a six page outline to further my new character's stories. I honestly had never considered that there might be more to these characters than what was created in my fever-induced brain when I dreamed them up, but I guess I was wrong. First my friend, M, after reading it, told me that she wanted to know what happened next... I was like, "um... nothing that I know of, I think..." Then, the other day, my husband read it and said that he agreed with M that the story could be expanded beyond what I had, not for the short story, but for another writing project. Hearing this from a man who I'd never imagine reading a romance short story really made me start thinking. If someone who normally wouldn't read this genre likes the story and characters and sees the potential, maybe I should consider it? No harm in asking the characters if they have anything more to share, right?

Wrong! This started several days of my writing gremlin creating, writing, and rewriting Megan and Joseph's story after On Occasion... ends. To be honest, the process is pretty cool to watch in my head... very Butterfly Effect. A scenario creates itself in my mind and plays out as if I'm watching a television show or a movie, then something won't seem right and the whole thing stops, rewinds, and starts again, changed to fix the error. Day and night I was plagued by these characters, just like when I started writing Instinct. At night, I would dream these looped scenes until my brain and the writing gremlin agreed that they were "just right". During the day, I would find myself daydreaming more scenes. Somewhere along the way, I created a playlist on my iTunes and started throwing songs that fit the scenes and characters into it. Then, while engaging in my worst time waster-checking celebrity gossip blogs (I know... but I can't help it...)- I started finding pictures of actresses that looked like a couple of my characters. This whole process is reminding me of the early days when I first dreamt up Instinct. Maybe this YA story will be added to my back burner projects for when I need a break from what I'm doing on Instinct.

Speaking of Instinct, I'm having a blast working on it again. The medications are fully out of my system and I can finally see and hear the characters clearly again. Don't ask me why I could write a short story while on them but not my novel... medicine head is a very complicated ailment apparently....

After reading a blog post from Murderati, I found myself really wanting to write all of the scenes with my villain. After reading a different blog post from Fangs, Fur, and Fey, I suddenly wanted to finish up everything with Casey's love interest. And now that I've started finishing up incomplete scenes and thinking about how I want to begin some of the chapters that I've yet to start.

I can't believe how happy I am to be back writing again. M even commented to me over a Gmail chat that I sound happier than I have been since I had to take my break from it. The funny thing is that I feel happier, more "myself" now that I'm back writing, ya know? It might sound weird, but part of me thinks that I was going through some sort of withdrawal/depression the past month because I couldn't write what I wanted or how often I wanted.

"Hello, I'm Willow and I'm addicted to writing..."
"Hi Willow!"

All right, now that that's taken care of... back to where my writing has taken me since my last post.

I'm actually almost done with the only part of the story that isn't in Casey's POV and I'm liking how it's turning out. I really like getting inside of this other character's head and it works really well to jump to his perspective towards the end of the book. Certain things happen at the end that Casey doesn't experience first-hand that are necessary to keep the plot going. I went back and forth on how I could get her this information when I realized that some of what happens can't be told to her. And since this book is part of a series in my head, I need to have a character experience things in order to subtly place clues to set up future books. Things that the characters don't think much of at the time and definitely not something that they would rush out to tell everyone about. Little subtle clues and hints that, on the surface, don't appear to be much... but when the truth is revealed make perfect sense.

So, what I'm saying is that I'm back writing Instinct and really excited to be back in that world. As confusing as it was, I was even writing on it while my brain was figuring out Megan and Joseph's story. The fact that I was able to go from writing a chapter of Instinct one minute to writing up the full outline of this new story (who's working title is being quite elusive...) makes me believe that I'll be able to work on both as needed.

My main focus is still going to be finishing Instinct- I'm so close to seeing the end of the rough draft that I can taste it! But, for those times when the scenes for it just aren't ready to be written, I now have a back up project to keep my occupied. Can't have me slipping back into writer's withdrawal/depression again. Now I have an alternate story to outline fully so I can get my writing fix when I'm stuck.

So everything is going really well with my WIPs and I can see the glimmer of a light at the end of the tunnel for my first draft of Instinct. It's so good to be back!

Let's see, what else? Oh yeah, before I forget again... I'm joining a writing guild. At the end of last year I found a website for a local writers guild and decided to check them out. I went to their first meeting of the year on January 15th (a horribly, horribly cold night where I found myself having to fill up the car before making the drive out because my husband forgot to...). Well, during the first meeting, I was able to meet several different writers from all different specialties. Writers of fiction, non-fiction, journalism, even a woman who is specializing in oral story telling. While at 26, I was the youngest person there, it still looks like it'll be a good group. Sadly, I wasn't able to officially join that night because I forgot the checkbook at home (d'oh!), but when I attend the next meeting on February 19th, I'll definitely become an official member.

This group has guest speakers at the meetings, be they published or unpublished authors, industry professionals, or even professors. The speaker at the first meeting was published author, Harry Spiller. He's a local author and retired teacher who has had several books and short stories published. He's even done work with a true crime television show on A&E, pretty cool. He told us about his struggles to find a publisher for his first book as well as the importance of knowing, and adhering to, submission guidelines. While I had already read pretty much everything he spoke of on the do's and don'ts of getting published during my extensive research of the publishing industry, it was still amazing to hear these truths repeated in person. It seemed to make them more real to actually hear someone speak them.

Another plus to group membership is that I'll be allowed 4 pages in their yearly anthology to have my work published. I'm not sure what I'll be able to find that is short enough to fit in the allotted space, but I'll definitely be looking out for something good to include.

They also produce a newsletter and allow members to submit writings to that as well. Maybe I can take some of the valuable information that I've learned through my favorite writing websites and blogs and write up an article for it? It'd be fun to try and I'm sure that someone would find the information useful.

They also have a yearly writing contest, but the fiction category is limited to 1500 words. I would be hard-pressed to write a piece of fiction that short. I still don't know how I wrote On Occasion... in under 3500 words, especially when the maximum word count allowed was 10,000 words. The deadline for this contest is May 1st, so maybe I'll feel inspired by then. If not, well... there's always next year if we're still living in this area then.

But anyway, this coming month I'll be joining the ranks of the Southern Illinois Writers Guild and I'm really looking forward to it. Not only will I be able to connect with other writer's in the area, but I'll be given the opportunity to network with published authors in person. As I've mentioned in other posts, I love the opportunity to ask questions and get advice from those who've been successful in this industry.

I think that's pretty much all that I've been up to in regards to my writing since my last post... If I think of anything else that I forgot, I'll definitely make a new post. So...

Until I blog again...
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

Day 1 Back on medication...

Yeah, you read the subject right, I'm back on the medication. I had started to feel better, finished up my prescription, and crossed my fingers that all would be well in my world... yeah, that didn't happen...

My ears are still killing me so the husband sent me back to the doctor today. The infection looks better, but there's still fluid in my ear. Luckily I only have five days worth of antibiotics this time and I wasn't instructed to stay on the antihistamines. Hopefully this new, stronger antibiotic won't affect my mental functioning too much, I'm finally getting back into the groove with my writing.

Since going off of the antihistamines, I've wrote up a synopsis for one story and written the rough draft for a short story contest I'm entering. I've also started reading my 200+ page, single-spaced manuscript of Instinct to help get myself back in the groove to finish it. Luckily, I still love my characters and their story and I'm not having any real problems getting back into that mind set. I guess part of me was afraid that all of this time away from it would somehow diminish my enjoyment of writing it, but it didn't so I'm happy.

As for what I've actually written... I'm liking the story synopsis that I came up with yesterday. It came to me in a dream during the few hours that I was able to sleep... the toddler has been a little sick and wanted to see 3 a.m. apparently... But anyway, it's sort of a middle school/young adult type story. I really like the main character, Kat, she's fun to write about. It's basically the story of how a 13 year old girl is chosen to tend a mystical tree that is the source of hope for the world. I think I wrote up around five pages, single-spaced, outlining the story and making notes of certain pieces of dialogue that I remembered from the dream. Right now, it's happily sitting in my "Incomplete Story Ideas" folder, waiting for me to get to it.

I also finished a rough draft for a short story contest that I'm entering. The maximum word count for the contest is 10,000 words and mine's just over 3000, so if I decide that I need to add something, I have plenty of wiggle room. Right now, that draft has been sent off to a friend of mine. She had enjoyed the characters when I originally wrote up a 1500 word scene with them, so now I'm waiting to see what she thinks of what I added to it to round out their backstories. Now, I have a couple of weeks to polish it up and make it presentable for the contest.

I'm not expecting too much though, I'm not a short story writer. Well, I used to only write short stories, but ever since I picked up writing again, I've fallen in love with novel-length fiction. This will also be the first contest that I've entered something I've written in. It'll be a good experience, getting used to sending off something that I've written and love for someone else to read and critique. Should be good practice for when I finish Instinct and start sending query letters out for it. And, if by some miracle, I was to place in the contest, it will be something to add to my accomplishments in the query letters.

So, I guess... wish me luck on the contest, wish me good health as I recover from my illnesses, and send me encouragement as I jump back into the world of Instinct to finish it up. Of course, I wish you all well, good health, and good luck in all that you do too!

Until I blog again...
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

Day one off of the medication:

I'm feeling a bit better today. My ears don't hurt anymore so that's an improvement. My sinuses are still driving me batty, but I don't think I have the infection anymore. Sinus problems are just part of living in this part of the country I guess.

Today will be the first day that I'm going without my antihistamines and I'm hoping all goes well. Medications like these always seem to affect me really strongly. Even supposedly non-drowsy versions of medication make me groggy. Probably something wrong in my genetic make-up...

Anyway, I think that I'm going to take it easy the next couple of days and ease myself back into the writing process. As much as I'd like to just jump in and start writing again, I think it'll be better if I give it a couple of days to let the rest of the antihistamines get out of my system. I'm feeling more like myself today, having not taken the mental-fog-inducing pills, but I know that the fog isn't completely gone yet. I think that I'll take a couple of days to re-read my manuscript and notes to re-acquaint myself with what I have left to write. The iPod is loaded with several of my inspirational songs for the story, so I'll be playing those off and on too.

I've also decided to enter a short story contest on a blog that I frequent regularly. The Pen and Muse is currently holding a romance short story contest and I'm really excited about it. This is the blog that sponsored a prize that I won in a contest held by Bitten By Books. Feel free to click the above link for more information on this contest, the prizes, and the deadline.

From somewhere within my clouded mind, an idea for a short story came to me this past week. Well, one scene from it came to me. Happy to be able to write anything, I eagerly typed it up and shared it as a cute story with a friend of mine. She really liked it and kept asking me what happens next. I was shocked, I hadn't thought that far through it. It was just a cute little scene to me, not an idea for a novel. I can't even think of an interesting way to expand these characters into a full-blown novel right now.

My scene is currently around 1500 words and is almost done. I have a couple of paragraphs of background information that is necessary in order for the characters motivations to be clear, so that's what I'm going to have to work on before the deadline next month. I have an idea of how I want to let the reader see what led up to where the characters are now, I'll just have to see how well it comes out when I go to write it. Luckily the contest has a 10,000 word minimum and I'm sure I can easily flesh out the character's brief backstories in less than 8500 words.

Writing this short story should be a good way to ease myself back into my writing habit. I can practice getting into these character's heads for a few days while refreshing my memory on what my Instinct characters are thinking and feeling in my remaining scenes. And if I win, or even place in the contest, it will be something to add to my writing resume. Being able to say that I won, or placed in, any writing contest is better than having nothing to include in my query letters when I finish Instinct and start looking for agents. (This, of course, only matters if my short story does well enough to win or place...)

To be honest, I've been wondering about my writing abilities. Maybe it's just how the illnesses and medications are affecting my brain, but I wonder if I'm talented enough to make it as a professional writer. I know that my beta reader enjoys my writing and my stories, but what if she's the only one? I keep trying to find a good excerpt to include in my blog or an various websites that I peruse regularly, but am having a bit of trouble. So much of what I've written needs backstory to have it make sense so I never know which passages to include. Also, since I'm still on my first draft, a lot of the writing needs a bit of polishing that I'm trying to hold off on until the subsequent drafts. When people ask for snippets of my work, what should I do? Post something that people may not fully understand in a hope that it "hooks" them into wanting to read more? Take time to try and polish just that scene to make it as error-free as possible? Or should I just wait until at least the first rough draft is finished?

I'm by no means ready to give up writing, I enjoy it far too much to ever do something like that. Actually, I don't even know where these doubts came from... no one's actually told me that my writing is horrible, the opposite in fact. It's probably just the after-effects of being sick and on the medications... I'm sure that once I'm able to delve back into the world I've created in Instinct that I'll be back to myself...

Well, until I blog again...
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

Out Sick.

Well, it's official. I have to take a few days off from my writing... and I HATE it. I'm on two different medications right now and if either of them would do their job, then I could probably continue my daily writing regimen. But as modern medicine has yet to create an instant cure to sinus and ear infections, I'll have to be patient and wait it out in misery.

If the antihistamine would kick in and get rid of all of the pressure on my eardrums, then I could stop taking it. It's a good medicine and I feel pretty good while it's working, but I live my days as a zombie in medicine head-land. Normally, this wouldn't bother me and I'd just ride it out, but it's really annoying with how my writing process works.

You see, I'm a very visually stimulated writer in that I see all of my scenes playing in my head sort of like a movie before I write them. Thanks to the potent effects of this medication, it's almost as if I'm looking through a foggy window. I can make out the vague shapes of my characters and hear their muffled speech, but I can't see or hear anything clearly enough to write it out. No matter what I do, I can't seem to clear the glass, as if it's dirty on the inside... so I sit outside and wonder what mischief my characters are getting themselves into and what scenes I'm missing out on...

If the antibiotic would kick in and start fighting the infections, then maybe I would feel well enough to at least work on the chapters that I've already started. Do some editing or at least add in a few comments of what parts of scenes don't seem to work right in my medication clouded brain.

But, as it is, I have no choice, (and believe me I've tried fighting this for the past couple of days...) I have to force myself to take a couple of days off of trying to write anything good. Sitting and staring at my open work in progress (WIP) like a drooling idiot all day doesn't get anything done.

I know that I could write up a lot of short little scenes that could, possibly fit into the story, but without being able to keep the whole story in the back of my mind, this idea really wouldn't work all that well. These scenes would be too hard to tie in when I can't write them successfully in context with the rest of the book.

So, please pardon my whining... whining that I can't write the scenes and chapters that I want... whining that I let myself get so horribly sick before going to the doctor... just whining in general...

I think that I've decided what I'm going to do to remain somewhat productive during my recuperation. Recently, through Bitten By Books, I won a copy of Eternal Seduction by Jennifer Turner. Jen is a really nice woman that I was able to speak with via an open interview session where the readers would comment on her blog post, asking questions, and she would answer back. I've been dying to read this book since it came in the mail, but never had enough free time to dive into it. As, I seem to have quite a bit more free time, (all of the time that I would normally spending writing...) I figure that now's the perfect time to give it a read. This is actually pretty decent timing because as another part of my prize, I should be receiving an advanced copy of the second book in this series, Eternal Hearts, sometime next month when it doesn't actually release until May.

So please forgive me if, over the next week or so, I don't do much real writing as I recuperate. Who knows? Maybe I'll write up a review of Eternal Seduction when I'm finished and post it up. I'm an opinionated person who likes to write, I think I will write up a review of the book. I'll be sure to let you all know what I think of it as soon as I'm done.

Well, until I blog again... (hopefully with a clearer head...)
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

Christmas is over, Now back to work...

Well, the holidays were really nice. We traveled up to the northern part of the state to spend them with my husband's family. Unfortunately, we were only able to visit everyone for a few days, driving up on Christmas Eve and coming back today. Luckily, we were able to see almost all of the family we would normally see on the holidays. But sadly, we weren't able to hang out with all of our friends up there though. We were only able to see one friend during our visit and it was because we went to torment him while he was at work. I really can't wait until we can move up there. Not only do I absolutely adore his family, but it'll be nice to live so close to the friends that Erich has known since high school.

I won't lie, this particular group of friends is comprised of quite a few interesting characters. And, I'm not ashamed to admit that I've borrowed various quirks and characteristics from these individuals to help create characters in my writing. Never copying them exactly onto the page, mind you... just taking various unique qualities and infusing them into my pre-existing characters in order to make them more realistic. My husband laughs when we spend longer hanging out with these friends then planned, and I say that it's for research, so we shouldn't feel guilty.

Speaking about the book, it's going pretty well. I think my writing gremlin took Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off. He was giving me all kinds of inspiration into the wee hours early Christmas Eve morning, and then *POOF* he disappeared. I guess I don't blame him for wanting the holidays off, but it felt so weird not having him there for inspiration for a couple of days there. But, bright and way too early on December 26th he woke me up and was itching to get writing again.

We spent all morning re-outlining the one chapter that my beta reader had been confused by when she first read the outlines for it. I had originally thought that it was confusing because it's a very short outline and I figured that the story just wasn't explained sufficiently enough to make it easy to understand. Boy, was I wrong! My Writing Gremlin presented me with a few new ideas for the chapter and, of course I loved them. The new minor characters that the chapter introduces are more believable and the experience does a better job showing why Casey values normalcy so much. I'm able to keep a couple of good bits of dialogue and internal monologue, but don't have to write up a lot of useless stuff now. By simply reworking one character, not only am I able to get through the important parts of this chapter faster, but I'm able to do it without being bogged down with useless information that only created an unbelievable character anyway.

Then, later that evening, inspiration struck again. I've been pretty nervous about writing one particular section of the story. It's a pretty big event, but nothing so big that I want to use several chapters to explain. I wasn't sure how I could get across all of the necessary emotions in just one chapter, so I was worried. I know everything that happens during this specific week in Casey's life but didn't know how to express it without having to explain everything. This would have easily taken three or four chapters and would have really slowed down the main story line with a lot of useless information. Now, I'm new to this novel-writing business, but even I know that allowing that to happen is a big no-no.

Well, while waiting for Erich's father to get home from work, it hit me. Well, not exactly "hit" me, more like gradually crept up on me. The beginning of the scene started playing in my head and I found myself in awe, thinking, "of course!" I exiled myself into a darkened room an let it play itself out and slowly the rest of the scene began unraveling itself, piece-by-piece. Within my outline, all of the necessary emotions are able to be portrayed realistically and yet somehow it all fits in one, normal-sized chapter. Oh, and thanks to this scene working itself out, I now know the catalyst that helps Casey work through a difficult situation later on, and it works out wonderfully.

I'm really excited to get to write this chapter out, not only because of getting to write a really emotional Casey flipping out, but also because of all of the other scenes that this one will inspire me to finish. I already know at least one other scene that is directly inspired from this one that is very eager to be written now.

So, now it's full speed ahead again. My Writing Gremlin and I took the necessary time off for the traditional holidays and now we're back and ready to get this book written. The number of scenes that are simply outlined is getting smaller and smaller every day as the blue, italic text continues shrinking.

What does blue, italic text have to do with anything you might ask? Well, I compiled all of my chapters and outlines into one big document a while ago. To differentiate between outlines and finished chapters, I decided to edit the outlines into blue, italicized text. It's worked really well and gives me a real sense of accomplishment watching the color fading to black. So, for anyone doing any form of long writing from an outline, I highly recommend this method. Having a visual representation of what you've accomplished compared to what you have remaining is proving really helpful.

Oh, and I've discovered a new way to do my writing late at night. If you've read this blog before, then you've read about my countless nights, hand-writing into a notebook by cell phone light or small night-light. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking this practice and will continue it when I'm writing out full dialogue and scenes, but for random notes and outlines I'm going to use something new from now on. For these quick notes, I've found that using my Palm Pilot is amazingly useful. Not only is it naturally back-lit, so no need for an external light source, but getting the information onto the computer is as easy as syncing the PDA to the laptop.

I'm fast enough using the special PDA alphabet to get basic thoughts down, so this is a nice alternative, and if I'm having a tough time writing this way, there's also a pop-up keyboard that I can use. Ultimately, I think that I'm still going to hand write any full scenes with dialogue that I come up with if I'm too lazy to get out of bed and make my way to the laptop. I just don't think that I'll be able to input scenes that full onto the PDA quick enough, with the correct formatting. My brain just seems to work too fast when I'm writing these types of scenes and I'm not sure if I'd be able to keep up while being able to format everything correctly. But for random notes, that don't need proper formatting or capitalization to be useful, this will be invaluable.

Well, it's getting late and I still need to reformat some notes that I just synced from the PDA... Yeah, I admit that I forgot the USB cable for it when we packed...but in my defense, I had no idea that I was going to use it for this purpose. We only packed the PDA because my husband has been using it to read e-Books lately...

But anywho, the Writing Gremlin calls...

Until I Blog Again,
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

Oh yeah... one more thing...

While writing and proofreading my last post I had something else happen to me that I'd like to share. When I'm writing, I tend to have iTunes running in the background, playing all of my songs on shuffle so that some random song can pop up and inspire me.

Well, as some people know, I have a mental playlist of songs that go with this story, it's own soundtrack if you will. One song in particular that is never mentioned in any of the chapters in any way, shape, or form has always had a major impact on me when I hear it. I first heard it in the background of my brain when I was typing during the "week of emotional scenes" over our Thanksgiving holiday. I was writing a lot of mushy relationship scenes between Casey and one of my male main characters and this song started playing in my head.

Now, this isn't a current song at all, I think that it was at it's most popular back in the '90s during the time when shows like Dawson's Creek were "the" show to watch. (I know this because this song debuted on a season finale of the show.)

This song has come to be the song that represents the true love between these characters. Being that it represents such a strong emotion and me being such an emotional person, yes I cry when I hear it. But it's worse than that! Whenever I hear it now, I have to completely stop working until the song is over, no matter what I'm doing at the time. I sit there and scenes from the story flash through my head while I hold back the tears. Now, the easy solution would be to skip past the song and continue working... Now what in my life is ever easy? I can't even bring myself to skip this song. It's like my brain freezes up and I get sucked into the emotions of my characters until the song is over.

Now I have over 4 playlists of various songs for this book but no other songs on any of them have this affect on me. Now, granted this song is an emotional song in and of itself, but this is crazy. I used to listen to this song randomly before, but it never had this affect on me.

So, I've come to a conclusion... I'm addicted to my own book. Over the months that I've spent getting this far, I've developed a strong emotional connection with my characters. So strong is this emotion, that I lose sleep after writing a scene that would cause them to lose sleep. I cry with them when they're sad. I celebrate with them when they are happy. Hell, I even get that butterfly-in-your-stomach feeling right along with them as they fall in love. So if you think that the emotions you feel on a daily basis are intense... imagine feeling at least three other people's emotions along with yours almost all of the time! You wanna talk intense!

So everyone cross your fingers that I can somehow get these emotions onto the page. One of my reviewers seems to have the same reactions to scenes that I do so far, so I just have to hope that I can keep it up!

Now to play that song again so I can go spend some more time in my fantasy world...

Until I blog again (and it shouldn't be again tonight...)
Talk 2ya later...

~Willow

Currently listening to: I'll Be By Edwin McCain

Aha!!!

Don't you love it when you have an epiphany? When realizing one tiny thing starts a chain reaction in your brain and you finally understand a problem that you've been facing? I just had one of those tonight!

I have a chapter where one of my characters is sent to therapy because of an incident that occurs to them. They're sent as a precautionary measure, but what comes out of this visit leads to a whole subplot and eventually leads to the introduction of one of my other main characters.

As a person who's been in therapy before, when I heard that my character was being sent to talk to someone about how an event affected her, my mind immediately flew to the realms of therapy, psychiatrists, the stereotypical couch, and the "how do you feel about that..." nonsense.

Running with this idea, I went so far as to ask a friend who is working on his Ph.D. on this topic to ask for help. I want the scene to be as realistic as possible so it won't "rip the reader out of the story" as some authors describe it. I don't want anyone associated with the mental health field who would read it to stop and say, "What was she thinking when she wrote this?"

Well, anyway... he came over for dinner last night and we discussed this therapist character. I've been having a lot of trouble picturing him, so we were trying to figure out what type of psychiatrist he is. Sounds simple enough... yeah right! Everything that I "know" about this guy just didn't seem to fit with what a psychiatrist is. The night ended with me planning on just writing the scene and hoping for the best. Then I would send the draft to my friend and he'd tell me what changes I needed to make to make it realistic. And if that didn't work, he was going to stage a mock-therapy session with me pretending to be the character in question. Now while I can write from the perspective and personality of Casey, actually vocalizing and acting like her would have been difficult.

Well today, while researching the types and wording of possible questions that could appear in an initial visit with a therapist, I stumbled across something that made everything "click" in my head. I happened to scroll past a heading that read, "The differences between therapists and counselors," or something like that. It was at this point that I realized that my "therapist" isn't a therapist at all! He's a counselor! I read information on the role of a counselor and my guy fits it perfectly.

It even makes more sense in the grand scheme of things for him to be a counselor. This character works for a police academy in the story. It just makes more sense that a counselor would work in this setting than a psychiatrist. And a counselor probably wouldn't have any problems with giving advice during an initial visit because sometimes that's all they ever see of the person.


Now, right now I'd love to put my hand up in the good old girl scout salute and vow to never make assumptions about new characters ever again. To allow them to take whatever time and means necessary to introduce themselves to me so I avoid all of this confusion next time. While I'd love to say this... I know that it's not going to happen. Sure, it sounds good on paper (or the screen in this instance), but I know that I'll keep doing this. You know that I'll keep doing this. So I'll just save myself the trouble of making a post in a month starting off with, "You know a little bit ago when I said..."

So no, I won't promise to never ever do this again. But I will promise to always trust my gut feelings on my characters. I won't change them to fit some preconceived notion that I've created for them. I write character-driven stories. If I start ignoring my characters and try to force them to do things "my way" then I will lose what I think makes my stories good. I love the personal feelings that character-driven stories present. They seem so realistic and you're really able to connect with the characters on a personal level. This connection is an important thing for a book to possess in order to become one of my favorites and I hope that someday the fact that I write in this style will make my book(s) favorites for others.

Well, until I blog again!
Talk 2ya Later...

~Willow